Monday, January 30, 2012

Monday, Monday

Boy do I struggle on a Monday - no energy and all prickly. Anyway made it through without any emotional melt downs (so far) so that's quite good...
Not sure I've got what it takes to read poems on Friday,  the poems I have written are very young and have not been around long enough to become anything true and meaningful or am I making an excuse? Feeling quite panicky and thought I was going to be sick when I went into work today. Didn't see anyone that required me to have any dialogue so that was OK.
Need to save my energy and apply it in the right places rather then the scatter gun approach I have relied on over the years. Letting go is about knowing what and how.
Had lots of advice offered last week and words were bandied about like "portfolio career", chances and opportunities - but what do they all mean? If you are in an unhappy place with work none of this is helpful. I want someone to build me an escape pod and shoot me off into the world of health care where I can make a direct contribution to people's well-being - staff, patients, family, carers - the whole package - support folk, provide supervision and do a bit of coaching as well. Help people build their resilience and capacity to develop and cope with change. I am not sure I am up to another winter of marking and academic egos!!

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