I have realised this week that teaching leadership and service improvement is much much easier than actually doing it. I don’t miss anything from my previous role, not the marking, not the politics but going back to practice is really tricky and knowing how to manage oneself in the milieu of care delivery is really complex and complicated. I am not sure I have got anything right yet but the key things I want to share are about what I have learnt about myself.
If I share that then I won’t be breaching confidentiality etc
I am not sure I had any idea about what it would be like not being an academic anymore. The main thing was the release of the enduring imposter phenomenon. I never felt like a “proper” academic without the PhD. The termination of that Doctorate was the single most damaging experience and one I now have felt recovered from after leaving my former role. There is much more to explore around these issues and intend to do it through writing poetry and exploring the themes that emerge (http://www.lcoastpress.com/book.php?id=284).
I will begin to share the poems and thinking on this blog so I develop a routine that, I hope, helps me work my way through my murky thoughts.
If I don’t start exploring these issues in a disciplined and organised way then they will fester in my subconscious and will emerge as frustration and irritation. I am now in a position where i have to be mindful of myself in many ways and pay attention to the notion of “Resonant Leadership” (http://wendyjocum.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/EI-article-3.1.4-Primal-Leadership-Realising-the-Power-of-EI.pdf ).
Important stuff, enough for now...it’s a start