Delivered a lecture on Spirituality at 9am which I have never delivered before and until today did not know I felt quite so strongly about nor did I realise how much I knew about it!!
Then had a meeting with research community about a project and got some lovely feedback about my contribution. It made me very sad and thoughtful. After 15 years at the University this is one of the very first times I have been given generous, positive feedback. It has made me stop and think about whether it is the right thing to ask to leave. I have a lot to contribute BUT also a lot of hang ups and some of those are triggered by the environment in which I work.
I don’t know what the right thing to do is at this moment in time but I do know I have the skills, expertise and passion to combine participatory approaches to research, learning and creativity. Not many people have those skilled all wrapped up together but I am just hopeless and seeing what I am good at - very critical and negative.
I need to explore this more and by writing as inquiry I might tease out the issues more fully. I apologise if I chunter on too much but I have found that turning up to write this is a method that works for me, helps me think and reflect instead of going round in circles.