Inner Artist

I really do believe we all have creative capability and the trick is to locate it and then nurture it so it can flourish and grow.

I am on the Decorated Sketch book course with the wonderful Mandy Pattullo at The Hearth on a Tuesday. I was not sure what I was doing there to begin with as I was surrounded by some very talented (and intense) visual artists. Instead of running away I sat quietly and observed and listened. I am exploring images of Weardale and the post-industrial landscape and it has been very absorbing and rewarding. I am beginning to learn that the first images are often not the best and that time and reflection is needed to begin to get to a place where what is being created is from the soul rather than from the analytical rational part of the brain.

With that thought I am beginning to think about how I can use my own reflections to create knowledge and guidance for healthcare practice. We don't need any more research to tell us what is going on we need to draw on personal and experiential knowledge to inform the debate. Research does not engage people and we talk a lot about reflective practice in Higher Education without anyone actually demonstrating that they are doing it for themselves.

I have found this blog a useful place to come and park thoughts, ideas and flashes of inspiration and wonder whether it might be a good thing to share the experience of the process. I also think I need to be less worried about what people think and put the ideas out there and wait to see what the response is. I am sure one of the reasons I never wrote my PhD was that I was always worried about making a tit of myself. However the more I witness heath care and the experiences people have the more I realise I had got it right and that if had I had the grit and determination I now am beginning to cultivate then the thesis might have been written. I also am now seeing colleagues equipped with the magic title Dr and realise that that they are not up to much and that a large proportion of their achievement is down to self-absorption, ambition and no internal critic telling them to get a grip and know their place.  Back when I was a PhD student I was surrounded by people who were mindreading my intentions. I am sure they put a stop to my endeavours as they thought I might be after their positions and would eclipse their status. I am not interested in status or high office in the church of nurse education. I am there to try and make a difference and I fear I am too far away from patient care for that to happen. If I had not left clinical practice I would not know what I know now but I also might still have an influence on the services being delivered. I need to find that place again and have the confidence to make a fuss about the things I care about.

I have just submitted an abstract to the NAWE conference to talk about some of the discord (conflict) I have experienced in my interactions with writers. I wish to seek creative collaborations not competition but I have found it not as easy as I thought. We will see if I get to pontificate but having aired it and explored it I think it worthy of further investigation as to what the bloody hell is going  on for folk who identify that maybe I am not the right person to be leading writing workshops – they think that one should be a professional writer not a dabbler who works in nurse education.

Anyway lots of thoughts and ideas come into my head as soon as I start writing & before I know it I have written half and essay and I am beginning o order my thoughts into come coherent ideas – goodness me.

Please take a look at my lovely friend Kate Evan’s blog where she has had an article published on her therapeutic writing activities – marvellous stuff. http://writing-ourselves-well-katehe.blogspot.co.uk/

Also I am helping out at the Lit and Phil tonight with The Late Shows with The Book Apothecary – http://stevieronnie.com/latest/looking forward to it as I love rubbing shoulders with creative practitioners – always inspiring.