I have realised this week that teaching leadership and
service improvement is much much easier than actually doing it. I don’t miss
anything from my previous role, not the marking, not the politics but going
back to practice is really tricky and knowing how to manage oneself in the
milieu of care delivery is really complex and complicated. I am not sure I have
got anything right yet but the key things I want to share are about what I have
learnt about myself.
If I share that then I won’t be breaching confidentiality
etc
I am not sure I had any idea about what it would be like not
being an academic anymore. The main thing was the release of the enduring imposter
phenomenon. I never felt like a “proper” academic without the PhD. The
termination of that Doctorate was the single most damaging experience and one I
now have felt recovered from after leaving my former role. There is much more to explore around these
issues and intend to do it through writing poetry and exploring the themes that
emerge (http://www.lcoastpress.com/book.php?id=284).
I will begin to share
the poems and thinking on this blog so I develop a routine that, I hope, helps
me work my way through my murky thoughts.
If I don’t start exploring these issues in a disciplined and
organised way then they will fester in my subconscious and will emerge as
frustration and irritation. I am now in a position where i have to be mindful
of myself in many ways and pay attention to the notion of “Resonant Leadership”
(http://wendyjocum.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/EI-article-3.1.4-Primal-Leadership-Realising-the-Power-of-EI.pdf
).
Important stuff, enough for now...it’s a start
