Sharing Stories Part II

How many of you out there wanted to write about your nursing journey?
Did you feel excited about the prospect of getting it down on paper and then sharing?
Did you think that sounds like a  good idea? Did you think I'll have a bit of that?

If you did then how far have you got? Have you worried about it being good enough?
Are you certain that you can't write and that no one will want to read your story anyway?
Well all these reactions how expected and predictable. What I would like to happen is to see hose stories arriving in my in box. Stories to read, edit, collate and curate....

Winter is not my most productive time but if I have a project I might find myself optimistic and energised..

Project Ready!!

Changing the Conversation

“There is something very healing about working on the jigsaw of a poem, even though the subject matter maybe upsetting. Understanding and working with the craft of poetry frees us form the emotional glare of a situation and lessens our fears.”

Julia Darling p. 12 The Poetry Cure

I’ve been thinking about how you can celebrate what you do, how you can recognise the value in what you are doing without showing off, without over claiming, without being accused of being a fraud. Writing this make me realise what stops me shouting from the roof tops about how I believe poetry can make a difference. If I make too much of these things then maybe someone might come along and blow my cover, show me up for not knowing a thing about what I am talking about, expose my emptiness. Reading an article in the GuardianOnline this week about poetry in health care made me realise that my frustration about the lack of recognition for the power of poetry is more about me than the poetry. I tend to think I am an imposter wherever I am, as a nurse, as an educator, as a writer, it hinders me and represses me; stops me being what I can be. It has been hanging about for a long time and mining it for its origins is a risky business. However I think if I am to take my message forward about the power of poetry then I have to leave it all behind.

I have been running poetry workshops in health related settings for a number of years now, I discovered the power of creative writing and well being in 2004 and for the last 7 years (since my Mum died) I have sought to offer that possibility in a number of places.
In hospices it has been revelatory, where it is possible to regularly underestimate the power of language and memory, that ordinary people can find extraordinary ways to express themselves in poetry, all they need is permission, a piece of flip chart, a scribe and a safe space to explore words. When I run our writing sessions all people in the room contribute to the making of the poetry, patients, volunteers and staff. If someone happens to walk through the room en route to the photocopier they must participate. It is about generosity and sharing, it is about giving people space to think and have a journey of discovery. It is a time to have the opportunity to rediscover childhood games, childhood spaces, local myths, and local landmarks. The agenda is set by the people present, in early times I went equipped with a plan, this often didn’t work and all my preparation often inhibited the flow of ideas. For the last few years I have simply been part of the conversation at the beginning of the session, listening and responding until I notice an issue or theme that might be worth excavating. It never ceases to surprise me how profound and insightful people can be, changing the conversation, paying attention adds something to the relationships between folk in the room. The academic in me wants to find out more about what is going on but I often find that inhibits my thinking, shrinks the view. Instead I will just carry on just doing what I do and wait for the analysis and evaluation to happen. These workshops have been a life changing experience for me and I increasingly find I want to offer the same type of space to all those I come into contact, a safe exploratory space rather than a formal, prescribed space.
Simply by writing this I find I have more confidence in this approach, poetry is one way of creating this space but I am sure it is not the only one. However I think that offering poetry into the space changes the tone of how we communicate. The compression of language, the attention to expression and evocation of emotion makes a difference. I now carry poetry with me into many spaces and mention poetry when I can, some folk might see me as an eccentric outsider but I hope I can cultivate more places where I can offer this way of learning – it is important and it can save your life!

You will love again the stranger who was your self 

 Derek Walcott from Love after Love

Writing and art

Yesterday was the first time I facilitated a health linked writing workshop outside the comfort zone of health care education - it was at the Lit and Phil in Newcastle.  I wanted to facilitate a writing workshop that responded to the art exhibited there at the moment by people affected by Parkinson’s disease. I have written about the exhibition before, Brain Box, as I find it deeply moving and feel it deserves a larger audience. That said we had the launch evening at the Lit and Phil and it was wonderfully warm and intimate evening. Some of us read poems and Jan Sopher (the artist behind the work and the curator) read a piece from Waterlogged by Roger Deakin.

Participants at yesterday’s workshop produced some wonderful work and we are hoping to collate the pieces into a little pamphlet that can be read alongside the pieces in the exhibition.

I wrote a poem for Thursday’s event and I felt a little daunted but I gave myself the task of writing about celebrity and illness. I found some information out about a famous photographer from the 1950’s who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and I wrote about her. It took a while to develop but I felt it needed attention before I was OK about it and the response on the evening was positive.

I acknowledge the source of the inspiration and hope that I attribute the source and have changed the tone by writing poetry in response to the prose.

Anyway here it is for others to read....

Embracing Parkinson's

She wanted to tell her story, reveal it

all on the page tell it all to “Life” magazine.

 

A photographer of renown she had captured

Roosevelt, Stalin, Gandhi, to name but a few.

 

Maggie the Indestructible,

seemingly always in the right

place at the right time.

 

 Then she became frozen not shaken.

Her fingers stiffened so she could no longer

press the shutter, focus her lens.

 

Going public with private issues -

a diagnosis and experimental  destruction

of cells in her thalamus by her god like surgeon

 

Her celebrity raised awareness

but unwise choices may have had

 

consequence.

 

She didn't accept the disease

She tried to squeeze it out,

eliminate it.

 

A message that extends

across half a century as another

 

famous name comes out with her lost voice

Telling the world she’s not taking the pills

until she's spinning on the spot.

 

Do we seek a wise role model?

or do we revel in a celebrated warrior?

 

Written in response to an article in The Atlantic by Barron H Lerner about Margaret Bourke-White

 

Poetry, compassion and nursing; some thoughts

This blog is a follow up to a tweet chat I was involved in a couple of weeks ago with  Wenurses

 

The subject under discussion was whether compassion could be taught. I thought I would just lurk but ended up having say and I included links to some poetry that I find helps “remind” us of our human connections. This then led to some questions about why poetry and compassion. I had an answer in 140 characters but I wanted to explore it a bit more here on the blog. It has taken me a couple of weeks to get round to it because I have been pondering on why it is so important to me.

Poetry came into my life in an unexpected and wonderful way back in 2004. Meeting a local writer (Julia Darling) at a workshop changed how I expressed myself and this was when I began to write poetry and found a whole new way of looking at the world. The best bits of advice on writing poetry is to be reading poetry so that you can find out what others are writing but also it is the best way through mimicry and discovering what you like to find your own voice when writing poetry. If you offer your poetry up to scrutiny of others, either in a workshop, or a course then the feedback might often be about how your poem might remind someone of someone else’s work. This particular adventure has been the most rewarding and surprising as I have discovered a rich seam of poetry from all around the world and from ancient times to the present.

So the question asked is why is poetry so special? What is it about poetry that makes you brave enough to get a classroom of students/practitioners to read a poem in the expectation that they might get to discuss hopes, fears and aspirations in their practice?

To me it became a gesture that I could not ignore. Reading great poems about health care experiences like those written by Julia Darling, UA Fanthorpe and Jo Shapcott provide a crystallisation of an experience, an authentic snapshot that can evoke an emotional response. This response is often spontaneous and unedited, the words used or the sense created in the work can bypass the practitioners usually carefully orchestrated responses to the emotional aspects of delivering care. Poetry can take you by surprise, make you cry, make you angry, just stops you in your tracks. I believe this is a fine way to encourage reflective and thoughtful practice. My belief is that good poetry always comes from a truth, an authentic and genuine event, thought or emotion. Those beginnings often end up in a finely crafted piece of poetry that does something special.

The poetry offered doesn’t have to be about concrete experiences. The poems I shared during the tweet chat were about “being human”. One of my favourite poems is by Rumi, a Persian poet from the 13^th Century. Here is a link to The Guest House, a poem that I come to every week and get something new from it, each time. Another poem I shared was by William Stafford that I discovered via the wonderful Roselle Angwin. … here is a link http://roselle-angwin.blogspot.co.uk/

The other poem I shared is by Elizabeth Bishop, a poet I had on the bookshelf but hadn’t really read until 2006. Bishop is one of the finest poets ever and I wish I had known about her before, but it is never too late to discover wonderful things and here is a link to the poem I shared on the tweet chat Sonnet 1928

 

 

I really believe poetry can make a difference in this world and I am becoming more passionate about that project. If you have poems you want to share then please comment or if you want me to come along and run a poetry workshop then I will!! Lets spread the word..

…..

 

 

Sharing Stories (again)

The idea about a book containing stories about nursing and nurses seems to be taking off. I now realise that it is important for me to explore my own story as well as encouraging others.
I keep putting off writing anything on the page. I am not sure what I am scared of, maybe it is the worry that I haven't actually got anything interesting to say but if I am encouraging others to do the same then I ought to do it myself!!
I admire those who can write prose and get their thesis written, their draft novel. I seem to have little stamina and find I get put off when I start thinking about writing more than 16 lines of poetry!!
I seem to be OK at writing learning outcomes and evaluation reports and maybe I ought to say "No" to those and concentrate on my own writing. It is difficult to do it all on your own and my belief in a project is difficult when you are not sure if anyone is interested. Paradoxically writing this blog seems to be more liberating.... I don't care who reads it but I do find I can just splurge onto the page without worrying about what I am going to write about. 
I am interested in encouraging reflective practice for health care practitioners, enabling them to find time and space to think about their work. I also seem to have a lot of ideas in my head that I find difficult to commit to the page. That stamp of authority, that confidence to say "This is how I see it." seems to be a long way off. I am expecting someone to tell me that it's all rubbish and that's what stops me...

First Ward

Don't let me bore you.
I am sure I have tales
to tell. Stories to share.

Ghosts in the attic,
tears in the sluice,
ward sisters who cared

more about neat cupboards
than the first year student
struggling to make sense

of worn out bodies.
Confused and angry
we all waited for a scrap

of attention. Jessie hit me
with her stick, whack!
I had to ignore it

move away, cry later.
Thirty four years on
it comes alive and I

wonder what made me stay.

Learning from Tweeting - post Francis

On Wednesday I attended a Department of Health event in Newcastle that invited participants to consider their responses to the Francis Inquiry. A So What Now?

Thanks to the wonderful Maxine Craig, whom I have met through Twitter, I live tweeted from the event. I got quite excited about it and realised it was a great way for me to concentrate. On occasions like this I am prone to mind wandering but this kept me focussed.
After a while I started tweeting haikus as there were some essential messages that were in danger of being lost within PowerPoint slides. It was all very interesting and the event left me more frustrated, in that the need to disrupt old ways of working is becoming crucial and so is working with staff. Please STOP telling them to be more efficient and expect besieged and beleaguered folk to find time and energy to be reflective. It needs to be acknowledged that they need space and attention... I think they need poetry and nurturing. If I hear the word productive once more I'll scream...
 
Here are my haikus - they were read and re-tweeted by others on the day which means the power of poetry has spread!!

LEARN. SHARE, CARE

duty of candour
acknowledge can do better
help share improvement

*****
enthusiasm
passion, drive - all matter
learning through nurture

*****
recruit for values
retain around attitude
care matters for all

*****
putting patients first
everybody's business
culture change needed

*****
accountability
support excellence in care
all responsible

*****

sharing stories
want to make a difference
to staff and patients

Muggleswick

Love the name?
Small hamlet on County Durham/Northumberland border